As The Coyotes Play… #2

Welcome back to your favorite NHL soaper, “As The Coyotes Play”. In our last episode, we left the Coyotes howling that their new love Tempe, Arizona, an eastern suburb of Phoenix slapped their faces just as hard as Glendale, a western suburb of Phoenix, did when they told them that the marriage was over. The Coyotes were left wondering where to go and what do. We saw NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman trying to reassure Las Vegas Golden Knights owner, Bill Foley and himself that what is happening will not happen to every dessert team, that there will be a happily ever after ending in Phoenix.

Now in our first segment we see the Coyotes get hope back in their eyes when they are told that the Arizona legislature is considering passing a bill to allow funding for a new downtown Phoenix arena. We see the parched tongues of the Coyotes start to drool that there may at last be water in the dessert heat. But the bill is still in the debating stage. We don’t know how much the legislature and the Phoenix and Arizona public love the Coyotes. It will show in future weeks. Time for our first commercial break.

When we return, we see NHL Commissioner Bettman tearfully pleading to the Arizona legislature to pass this bill. He speaks eloquently that he believes in an NHL Phoenix franchise and reiterates how the league is committed to Phoenix. Then he earnestly points out all the job-creations that will occur, all the revenue that will be raised if a new arena is constructed. He angrily repudiates that Glendale hussy, who never made a profit the whole time she shared the Coyotes bed and boldly states that he is finished with her for good.

Then one of the Coyotes Arizona owners, Andrew Barroway arises and repeats with more emphasis the Commissioner’s words. He stresses the advantages of job creation and revenue raising should a new arena in the Phoenix valley be built in a suitable location. He again denounces false, philandering Glendale for her inability to make any money in all the years of their marriage. Returning to her bed is out of the question forever. Time for another commercial break.

When we return we see the Arizona Coyotes General Manager, John Chayka sobbing bitterly because the Coyotes may leave Phoenix. He tells the touching story of NHL first overall draft choice Auston Matthews, now with the Toronto Maple Leafs. Local hero Matthews current brave knightly deeds could not have occurred if the NHL had not come to Phoenix. To leave the dessert would be a betrayal of Matthews and all the NHL has accomplished to build hockey in Arizona. The children in the Phoenix area that have taken up hockey as their favorite sport would suffer an irreparable loss.

But Bettman and Barroway reappear and solemnly warn the legislature that the Coyotes will consider “all the options” if something suitable cannot be worked out. But they never state what these other options are. Can that mean that there are other lovely eyes out there that want the love-starved Coyotes? One thing if that is true, it will be a western girl like Portland, Seattle, and Houston, not some faraway eastern lass like Hamilton, Quebec and Hartford.

So how will the Arizona legislature answer? How many more years will the Coyotes have to spend in the detested Glendale bed? Will the Coyotes yet live in the dessert heat or become a piece of nostalgia? We leave you in cliff hanging suspense until the next episode of “As The Coyotes Play…”

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