Open Letter To Auston Matthews

Dear Auston,

Can I call you Auston? I feel like we’re on a first name basis now. Congrats on your NHL regular season debut. Also congrats on your first goal. I hope you got to keep the puck. Also congrats on your second goal.  That’s great! Wait stop. You’re scoring your third goal? What are you doing? This is insane. Goal number four? Why are you doing this? Stop, stop, stop! Oh good four is enough for you.

Remember the fact you play in Toronto, aka center of the hockey universe. The media hype around you doesn’t go away. Remember Tyler Biggs? The next big thing? Well that didn’t go so well. But the hype train doesn’t stop. In the words of 2004, the hype train “Won’t Stop, Can’t Stop“.  Now do I think you’ll be a bust? No. I think you’ll be an All-Star. But after one game, you would believe that he is a combination of Crosby, Messier, Orr, and Gretzky into one.  (Maybe it’s true, I’ll find out.)

But what now? How do you even follow up on that? Do you score 5 goals? Do you get a shutout? Do you do a hat trick of a Gordie Howe Hat Trick? I have a few ideas, and if you use them, just make sure to send me a shoutout on Twitter alright?

  • Score a goal while not having a stick
  • Score with only one skate
  • Assist on every goal in the game while also not playing a single minute
  • Shoot a puck over boards and balance it on Carlton The Bear’s nose
  • Buy everyone a beer in the stands (pop for the kids. Come on now.)

Let me know if you would like to collaborate for more ideas. I would love to help. Make sure to let me know on Twitter. My Twitter account is @hkyblogger. Also one thing Auston. This is all a joke. Keep on going man, but if you use one of my suggestions and don’t give me credit, that would be really disappointing. I won’t be angry, just disappointed.

Yours Truly,

@hkyblogger

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